come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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