I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
