College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
