Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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