i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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