I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
