You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
