when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
