we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
