He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize