you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
