Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
