I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
