ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
