you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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