I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize