please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
