Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize