i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
