The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
