Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
