Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
