My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize