went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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