Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
