I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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