Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
