Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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