I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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