in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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