I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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