pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
