I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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