Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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