I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize