and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
