Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
