me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
