I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
