I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
