Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
please come you make the beer taste better
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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