help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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