Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize