NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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