My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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