Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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