I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Vodka?
Forever.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
