I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
