discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
