Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She bit a glass in half.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
