Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
