I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's the barista slut.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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