Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You have to summon your inner elephant
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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