I wanna passion pit in your ass
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Never underestimate the power of titties
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