Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
