I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
