I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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