Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
50% drunk capacity currently
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
