kristin has been a bad kristin
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
