Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize