yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
