It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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